Why Are You Afraid Of Favor?
That was the question that came to my mind as I was drinking my coffee, early in the morning.
My time, my strength, creative atmosphere, inspiration, connection with God happens at a greater level early, early morning. So I sat there reading, listening, and writing, all the while sipping on a cup of coffee. That was the question that seemed to be whispered into my ear.
It was out of left field so I knew it was something I should pay attention to. I wrote the question down and I looked at it. Studied it. Contemplated it. What was I just thinking about before this simple, yet revealing question was whispered? I had just been thinking and dialoging with the Lord about a past season of my life where I declined an opportunity 3 times. The reasons for declining this opportunity were timing, fear and I still don’t fully know why.
I knew this question wasn’t for me to regret my past but it was more so for challenging me on the way I still think today.
This question that came to me was a question that was and is challenging me on the way I look at my life, the opportunities that come my way and most of all, why I hold myself back from great opportunities. This question was about to unearth a lot of mindsets about myself.
Here we go! You don’t need to have my upbringing to relate; you can just have the simple mindset of having a hard time receiving favor.
I started to think about the question, “Why are you afraid of favor?” I had to dig deep.
It was true, I was afraid of favor. I was afraid of promotion. I was afraid of the next level. I was afraid of a spotlight.
I started to write down right away what came to mind.
– Afraid of the spotlight, the attention it would bring
– Afraid that I wouldn’t know how to handle it; steward it
– Afraid what people would think of me, because in my mind favor sometimes didn’t equal a great thing (because growing up I was jealous of people that had it, so I viewed them with the wrong heart therefore leading me to equate favor as bad)
– Favor was easy. I was used to hard work and receiving your reward from your hard work, but favor seemed to be dropped on you from the sky
– Most of all, the real heart issue of why I was afraid of favor was because I didn’t think I was worthy of it. Worth. All of it stemmed from worth. Feeling worthy of receiving it.
As I pondered all of these thoughts over the next few days, I tuned into Bethel Church to listen to Bill Johnson speak, and guess what he spoke on? Yup! Favor. “Increasing in Favor.” Increasing? Man, I was still dealing with the fact that I didn’t think I was worthy of favor.
Favor is actually grace. Grace is actually favor. I am working out that detail of my life where I know I am worthy of favor. It’s a mind game. It’s a mind change. It’s taking effect. I love when God reveals something to you because you know it is something that He wants to focus on and change in you. His love and His purpose for me are wrapped in His favor. I need to be willing to accept His favor and know my worth so I can actually be released into the next season of my life. If I am not able to receive the favor He has for me, I won’t be able to do what He has called me to do. I need favor from God and from man to do what He has purposed for my life.
So He brought up this question to get right at my heart and challenge the way I think of myself and the way I think regarding favor. All the lies I have associated with favor need to be turned into actual truths so I can walk in the favor He has for me. I can’t be a blessing to others if I am not blessed. I can’t release favor on those around me if I don’t know the favor in my life or even be willing to accept the favor He has for me with open arms.
Stop. Ask yourself, “Am I afraid of favor?” If the answer is yes, then you know you have some work to do. Favor is a wonderful gift from God. A gift. How can we not receive it? If someone gives me a gift, I don’t refuse it or tell them to give it to someone else, I accept it. It would be rude if I didn’t accept it; when I do accept it, it is because I know they love me and I am worthy of their attention and the gift they give. So why would I not accept from Him, from the Giver of the greatest gifts.
The other way favor comes is through people. We can never do anything on our own and we need help (favor) from those we do life with. People hold the power of favor in their hands and wherever they choose to look, invest their heart, time, or words, that is where they lay their favor. It’s a beautiful flow that God designed. I somehow had this mentality that I had to do it on my own. However, dreaming for this blog (Sand + Pearl) I have come to realize that I need help on all fronts. People in my life have shown me favor and through that my dream is growing and spreading to people I haven’t even met before (you, the reader!). So, I am all for favor and I am allowing it be a friend of mine.
My view on myself needs to change. My perception of myself and God needs to change. I am someone He loves, He values and He dreams with. He would like to help me in my dreams and what I want to do on this earth. And He is going to help me, and one of the gifts to accomplish this is His favor and the favor of others.
So am I afraid of favor from God or from others? I am still working on it, but I confidently believe sooner rather than later I will know how to embrace and receive favor.
Why Am I Afraid Of Favor?
I don’t think I am anymore.